Let the journey continue...

Approximately twenty five years and three days ago, I began a journey in life that has (with hind sight's wisdom) always been headed towards the kingdom of Jesus Christ and total redemption that he's bringing. I cannot count or thank the sum of all the people who have helped me on this journey and been a part of what God has been doing in my life. About a year ago the idea began to solidify that I will never be able to give anyone as much as I have been given. I will never be able to forgive what I have been forgiven. I will never be able to suffer for others the extent that others have suffered for my sake. To clarify, I'm not speaking in metaphorical or an abstract sense, but a physical reality. Whether you take my statements to mean other people in my life or God himself the physical reality remains that I have been blessed beyond paying back. And for all of this I give glory, praise, and thanks to God.

I came across this meditation in my Celtic Daily Prayer book that talks about the reality of our relationship to God.

The Cry to God as 'Father'
in the New Testament
is not a calm acknowledgement
of a universal truth about
God's abstract Fatherhood.
It is the Child's cry
out of a nightmare.

It is the cry of outrage,
fear, shrinking away,
when faced with the horror
of the 'world'
- yet not simply or exclusively
protest, but trust as well.

'Abba Father'
all things are possible
to thee...

-- Rowan Williams

I guess the point of me writing all these things is that far too often I start to disbelieve that God is for me. He seems far removed from my physical daily experience. I wonder if he's real, and even more so if he really wants what's good for me. My own experience as I cry out to God as Father is the same desperation of Williams. I don't want any abstract cheap, merely emotional satisfaction. I desire real interaction with a person who offers and follows through on salvation. I rejoice to say that this has been my experience, my reality. I mourn, however the reality of my forgetfulness, the reality of my disbelief in my experience and in the Word he's spoken into my life. My response to these dual realities to write this note for the sake of remembrance.

Yesterday morning I met with a woman in a coffee shop and shared about the ministry that God has moved me towards reaching out to college students. I invited her to be a part of what God is doing and she joyfully made a decision to pray for me and to give $30 a month towards reaching college students in Albuquerque, NM. Her decision marked a significant moment in my life. This finishes of my initial support goal and begin my transition to Albuquerque. The journey is far from over. I will if I continue with the organization that I'm with, hopefully raise thousands more dollars in new monthly support if I ever get married, have children, and replace donors led to give elsewhere. This is a significant time of transition however as I remember the thousands of dollars God has already raised to bring me to this point. I have remarked several times recently about "the difficulty of support raising," that there have indeed been times that it has been the hardest thing I've ever done. That I rejoice to say is no longer true. I look forward to doing harder things that require more faith eagerly. God is soo good. He's not just part good, or someone with good intentions he can't follow through on. He's the best, he wants the best for us, and will give us the best if we will get over ourselves and believe him.

In summary God has provided for my physical needs and he wants to provide for yours too. He's good. Give him glory and honor him. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will lead you and make straight your paths. This is what I've experienced, I just thought I'd let you know.